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Dating Sims Need More Respect From The Gaming Industry | Pixel Hearts

This Valentine's Day, instead of talking about our favorite video game romances, we really should talk about why dating sims need more love.

People love romance in games. Gamers will talk your ear off in RPGs about who their favorite romance option is or, God help you, who their waifu is. But for all of our love of romancing NPCs, dating sims surprisingly don’t get that much love.

It’s weird that despite the similarities between romance mechanics in games and dating sims, dating sims are often regarded as being a second-class, or sometimes even bottom-class, game genre. They’re usually the butt of jokes and relegated to the dregs of online storefronts. Even when one does get the limelight, like the upcoming Date Everything!, which was sadly supposed to be released on Valentine’s Day but was delayed to June, they’re often seen as a joke. But for as ridiculous as dating sims can be, they should receive way more love and attention than they do now.

People like romance mechanics in games. Romance options add a bit of diversity to specific playthroughs of games, where gamers can share and bond over who they decided to romance and why. Romancing a character in an RPG can help provide greater engagement when you use that character and can add some nice subtext to major moments in a game’s story. Or, in life sims like Stardew Valley or Fields of Mistria, it can help color your perception of your community at large and give you a goal to work towards. But they never overtake the main mechanics of a game. They’re always supplemental and off to the side. You can engage with them or not, but it ultimately doesn’t impact the core story or experience of the game.

But with dating sims… not so much. The entire point of a dating sim is to romance a character, so naturally that’s the game’s main focus. This can oftentimes lead to some underwhelming mechanics. Most dating sims are visual novels, which have minimum engagement at best, though some can incorporate puzzle mechanics, that’s uncommon. Success at those segments can determine if a character will like you more or not, with the game’s “win state” being if the character confesses their love to you, or something beyond that if you catch my drift. Because of that, your engagement with a dating sim is dependent on how much you like the characters though, because if a player can’t find something to enjoy about the cast, it’s over.

And in bad dating sims, that’s oftentimes true. A bad dating sim will usually prioritize the dating elements but forget to actually give its cast personality. They’ll solely be defined by their physical traits and maybe have a generic character trait to differentiate them from the other potential lovers. But when you find a good dating sim, developers will make sure that each character is memorable and distinct. Date Everything! is touting its gargantuan cast of characters, but each character appears to be a fully fleshed-out person. Monster Prom is a hilarious dating sim competition where you’re attempting to romance a monster, each more bizarre than the last, like everyone’s favorite dopey werewolf Scott and the genocidal mermaid princess Miranda. 

A good dating sim isn’t afraid to lean into the absurdity of its premise. Obviously none of this can happen in reality, and that’s kind of the point. Are dating sims wish fulfillment? Sure, but the focus isn’t on that. It’s about how its bizarre mechanics or premises are used to get to the dating bits. Does it make any sense why having really good puzzle skills makes you desirable to the women in Huniepop? No, but watching women fawn over you for doing match-three puzzles never fails to entertain. I’d like to think it’s one of the reasons why dating sims like Hatoful Boyfriend were as successful as they were. After all, who wouldn’t be at least a little bit curious playing a pigeon dating sim?

Dating sims are at their best when they’re having fun with their premise, and they need to be respected for that. When romance mechanics are introduced in mainstream games, they’re typically played fairly straight. Those romances oftentimes delve into the character’s wants, needs, desires, fears, insecurities, and a whole host of other elements that are meant to be emotionally engaging. And there is a certain charm to that, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not often that a romance in games is framed around comedy. That isn’t to say that dating sims aren’t capable of being dramatic – just take a look at Katawa Shoujo – but they’re at their best when they don’t care what anyone else thinks about them and want to be fun.

There’s something to respect about a developer creating a game with that mentality, but it’s hard to change the perceptions of the genre when every “major” release frames its premise around a joke. There’s nothing wrong with that, but there’s no denying that dating sims have rarely innovated since they first appeared. You’re still given a harem of guys and gals to romance, and by the end, you’re dating one of them. There are some fun takes on the genre – I absolutely love getting some friends together for a round of Monster Prom – but the genre hasn’t really changed in decades. I’m torn between whether I want to see the genre grow and evolve into something more or if I’m fine with having my trashy little dating sims that don’t take themselves too seriously.

Regardless of where I want the direction of the genre to go, I do think that the stigma surrounding dating sims needs to change. They can be bad and you’re going to have to wade through a lot of sweaty, sticky trash to find a diamond in the rough, but when you do, the results are undeniably fun. Even if the mechanics of these games aren’t the most exciting in the world, when you get a game that takes the time to flesh out its cast and isn’t afraid to embrace its inherent silliness, it’s usually worth a look. So this Valentine’s Day, instead of arguing about how the best waifu is in Persona or Fire Emblem (it’s Yukiko and Dorothea for the record), consider giving a dating sim a try. Who knows? Maybe you’ll end up liking it.

Pixel Hearts is a column that explores love and dating in video games.

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